Last week was not my best.
First of all, the weather was all blah. I want to be wearing this:
And instead I'm still freezing my tail feathers off in this
Second, I was at a party with my BF when a woman came up to us and made such an outlandish comment that I could not quite believe it. Only I could believe it, as this is not the first time that someone has made a bizarre statement in my presence: something that has mainly stemmed from the fact that my BF is a widower with deep ties within the community and I am new to town.
Friends who know us and our circumstances are delighted we found one another, but there are a lot of people out there in the wider circle who were not blessed with the gift of tact. Layer onto this the complexity that comes from my past suffering and the toll that took on my ego and you get a bit of an emotional powder keg. I took to the internet for some guidance, as one does, and found several ebooks about the issues girlfriends of widowers face. The best of the lot was Past: Perfect; Present: Tense by Julie Donner Andersen (don't let the title and cover put you off.)
What a great book. Andersen has gained tremendous wisdom from her experience and the book helped me reframe much of my experience. It turns out that some of the more bizarre statements I've heard are practically cliche in these circumstances, so it allowed me to depersonalize the experience. It also put many of my deepest fears to rest. I know it's a fairly niche subject but if you find yourself in the position of dating a widower (dating a widow is not as fraught with peril it seems), I highly recommend her book. It was a true sanity saviour.
This week is much better. Spring sports are starting and the kids managed to score themselves free frozen yogurt for a year.
I've been taking comfort in some of this:
and some of this:
Serena got her Hirst on:
Our magnolia is starting to bud:
I'm carting in the champers for a girls' night at the end of the week.
And there are only 59 days until summer vacation.
Stay warm, darlings.